DAY 69

Today I am grateful for: leaving part of my heart in good hands

I'm at the airport waiting for my flight from Salt Lake City to LA. All day I have had that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. The one that always comes when you know you have to do something that you don't want to do.

I did not want to once again say good-bye to people that I love. I seem to be doing that a lot in the last 6 months.

I realised that I had tears in my eyes when I arrived at this airport 3 weeks ago, and now I have tears in my eyes again upon leaving.

I think it has to do with my heart.

My arrival tears were because I was reunited with a piece of my heart that I had lost - the piece Alison left with 4 months ago. Today the tears were because I was losing that part again. It stays with Alison. She keeps it with her heart.

Is that what love is? Leaving pieces of your heart with people, hoping that they will care for it until the time comes to give it back?

I think in the case of loving my Dad, when he died that piece of my heart was lost along with him. Grief is learning to live with less of your heart.

Today I am grateful for the knowledge that I am leaving part of my heart in safe hands. I know Alison will care for it and bring it back to me.