A frightening future awaits...

DAY 69

So I haven't heard from Mr First Date last week and I don't expect too.

I wasn't getting the vibe.

Bummer.

Obviously my brain is working through another plan of attack though.

Thursday night I dreamt that I got another kitten.

A really cute little grey fluffy one.

And my heart was happy.

My subconscious seems to have decided that the embarrassment of an unsuccessful date is to be lessened by adding a new kitten to the family.

This is not going to end well.

I, and my friends, harbour fears that I will become the crazy cat lady from 'the Simpsons' who flings cats at unsuspecting people while muttering to herself.

I will say this once.

You have to stop me.

It is your duty.

No more kittens no matter how much I beg.

And plead.

And cry.

No more.

I will not become the crazy cat lady.

Hang on.

What if I have become her already?

No wonder guys don't call me again.....

OH NO!!!!

Photo Friday

DAY 68

A Friday ritual - celebrating a special moment from the past that I don't want to ever forget.

Family love

DAY 67

I've been missing my family this week - with mum over in America for another 2 weeks. I've decided to get my 'family love' fix by heading to Boonah on Sunday for a visit with my girls and this little fellow.

Can't wait to see that grin!

Excuse me, but I think my insecurities are showing...

DAY 66

Just got home from another first date. On the long drive home from Brisbane I had some pondering time. Never a good thing.

I realised that I have walked away from my last couple of first dates with a twinge of regret.

'For what' you ask.

'For the stupid things I uttered' I say.

It's true.

In recent dates I have said some truly dumb things.

I think I can trace this problem back to it's source.

I have been on so many first dates and have come away with disappointment - so now I no longer hold any expectations of the guy I am meeting.

If he turns up things are off to a great start.

With my new 'no expectations' outlook I have lost the nervousness that comes with a first date. Why get nervous about something that will probably end badly, embarrassingly or awkwardly?

Since I no longer feel nervous, my traditional conversation/response filtering has been lost.

I've stopped checking my answers in my head before I open my mouth.

This here is where the cracks start to show in my carefully crafted exterior.

Flicking back through our conversations today I can only cringe at some of the answers that crossed my lips.

Can I claim temporary insanity?

Maybe I was distracted by a shiny object?

Why, oh why, oh why!

Someone take away my dating license before I hurt myself or others irreparably.

Maybe I need a bring a chaperone with me.

Someone who can vet my responses before I answer.

That wouldn't be weird - would it?

:)

First date outfit dilemmas

DAY 65

I've got another first date tomorrow - the second for the year.

The classic conundrum has hit me again - what the heck do I wear?

Dates in winter were never a problem - I had a standard outfit with skinny jeans, high-healed boots and bomber jacket.

Summer on the other hand has me completely baffled.

Can't wear jeans or a long skirt - too hot.

That red dress with flowers is a little too 'girl next door'.

What impression does a short skirt give?

No way am I wearing shorts.

Do you see my dilemma.

I see this situation as gross negligence on my behalf.

I must rectify asap with shopping.

Immediately.

Photo Friday

DAY 64

A Friday ritual - celebrating a special moment from the past that I don't want to ever forget.

Dancing with the green-eyed monster

DAY 63

Jealousy

Not something we talk about a lot.

Not something anyone generally admits to.

But I will.

I’ve been dancing with the green-eyed monster lately.

Not the ‘I wish I had what you have’ monster.

More like his cousin - the ‘I can’t be in the same room as your happiness’ monster.

The monster that munches your heart up.

Slowly.

The monster that whispers in my ear.

Steals my joy.

Actually I think he eats my joy for breakfast.

So

How do I return this monster to where he came?

That is a good question.

Maybe I will remind myself of all the things I was grateful for 64 days ago.

I think I will find it hard to be jealous and grateful at the same time.

I don’t want to dance with this monster any more.

He steps on my toes.

With his big green feet.

xxoo

L

What I've been reading...

DAY 62

I thought it was time to tell you what I have been reading over the last month or two. I had a very productive Christmas holiday - I read 4 books in a week!

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close | Jonathan Safran Foer

“In a vase in a closet, a couple years after his father died in 9/11, nine-year-old Oskar discovers a key…”

This was one of my favourite books from 2010. A great story about the different characters living in New York City, from the perspective of a quirky and extremely intelligent little boy.

5/5

Water for Elephants | Sara Gruen

“Orphaned, penniless, Jacob Jankowski jumps a freight train in the dark, and in that instant, transforms his future. By morning, he’s landed a job with the Flying Squadron of the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. Bt nightfall, he’s in love.

I hear they are making this in to a movie which should be great. Love this story as it is rich with love, laughter, danger, a naughty elephant, prohibition, the depression and a love that defies logic.

5/5

Room | Emma Donoghue

“Room is the story of a mother and son whose love lets them survive the impossible. Unsentimental and sometimes funny, devastating yet uplifting, Room is a novel like no other.”

One of the best books I have read in a very long time. I read it in a 4 hour sitting one Saturday afternoon, because I just couldn’t put it down. An incredible story of a kidnapped teenager, her child and their life in ‘Room’.

5/5

Wicked Appetite | Janet Evanovich

Unfortunately not up to the normal level that I expect from Janet Evanovich (who is the author of one of my favourite book series). It has it’s funny moments (a monkey who gives everyone the finger, enchanted stones that cause the holder to horde: food, padlocks, ferrets etc, a gorgeous man with smouldering good looks who is the protector of these stones) but on a story level it leaves much to be desired.

3/5 - I wouldn't bother if I were you. Read the 'One for the Money' series instead.

Her Mother’s Hope & Her Daughter’s Dream| Francine Rivers

Marta’s Legacy series

These two were a great read looking at the legacy of one feisty, strong willed young girl from Switzerland through her life, her daughter, her granddaughter and her great granddaughter. Travelling through Europe, Canada and the wilds of settlement in America, these books illustrate the lives of women who loved their husbands, their children and their faith. Exploring the complicated relationships between mothers and daughter, husbands and wives, neighbours and friends.

4.5/5 – they got a little predictable towards the end.

My book is here!

DAY 61

My book arrived yesterday and I was amazed to see it!

My '100 Days of Grateful' was an incredible journey, and to see it in book form makes it all the more real.

This book is an exclusive masterpiece - one copy only so I'd better not misplace it anywhere.

I am very proud.

Hello Summer!

DAY 60

After months of rain it makes my heart happy to see the summer weather back in sunny Queensland!

I turned my fan on tonight for the first time since February last year. Let's hope the last 6 weeks of summer actually feel a little more like summer!

Photo Friday

DAY 59

A Friday ritual - celebrating a special moment from the past that I don't want to ever forget.

And the rivers raged down the streets

DAY 58

What a week.

Something unprecedented took place in Toowoomba town on Monday – a city atop a hill flooded. 5 inches of rain fell within 30minutes, turning our street into rivers, and our rivers in to raging torrents.

Dubbed an inland tsunami, a flash flood of murky brown water engulfed our CBD within minutes: tossing around cars like playthings, ruining anything in its path.

I was at work in our CBD office when it happened. While our office stayed high and dry, sadly our church office and auditorium (located just across the road) was severely ruined by the flood.

I watched as local workers waded in to dangerous waters to rescue people from trapped cars. I watched as strangers comforted each other as they surveyed the devastation. I watched my friends and co-workers struggle against the waters to safety just 3metres across the road from me – while I was trapped, unable to help until the river that was the road subsided enough to be waded across.

I have realized that situations such as these give an opportunity for everyday heroes to emerge. Fathers and brothers, sisters and mothers put aside fear to do what needs to be done and more. Facing danger, they do extra-ordinary things for strangers and friends alike.

I will never forget this week.

• The incredible destructive power of water.
• The ability of the human spirit to continue even when broken.
• The strength found in friends when faced with fear and loss.
• The power of prayer.
• The joy in a community who works together to rebuild and comfort.

Queensland continues to be engulfed in devastating floods. Down the range from Toowoomba the town of Grantham has been completely demolished by a wall of water that swept through on Monday night. Entire houses swept away with families still inside. Across Queensland floodwaters continue to rise, devastating entire suburbs and towns in their path.

Every Queenslander will have a story to tell of January 2011. I count myself blessed to find myself safe, dry and untouched by the water in the aftermath. So many more have lost so much more, losing all possessions and even loved ones in this unprecedented weather event.

I am one of the lucky ones. I thank God for our safety. I offer prayers for those who have suffered and continue to suffer.

For some amazing video showing what happened, watch these clips:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYUpkPTcqPY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7HLvwPmles

Photo Friday

DAY 57

A Friday ritual - celebrating a special moment from the past that I don't want to ever forget.

Owls

DAY 56

Just a quick post today. I have been going back through my photos from the USA trip, as I am working with an awesome magazine called 'Bella' and will be contributing a little to each edition.

Couldn't go past this shot from the little markets I visited in Brooklyn. I just love those little owls.

After heading back to work earlier this week. I sadly realised that there won't be any holidays for me until September - eekkk! Better start enjoying my weekends more!

Hello Baby!

DAY 55

Little Malachi Oscar Andrew came in to the world last week - and I got to have a hold when he was just 2 days old.

I love seeing little bubbas when they are newly arrived. There is so much potential in each little face. Their whole world right then is eating, sleeping and filling up their nappy (not necessarily in that order!) but every day they are going to learn something new, until one day they will be all grown up and their mothers will wave goodbye from the front step.

The thing I love most is looking at their little hands, with their tiny little fingernails. My heart melts every single time they curl their fingers around my thumb.

Grateful.

Conversations with Eden

DAY 54

Eden visited her Aunty on her own last week. We sat at my dining table with hot chocolate and the biscuits I used to bribe her to come over - Eden doing her activity book and Aunty on her computer.

I did have a little giggle on the inside during the chat we had:

"It's good to come to Toowoomba to visit you and Oma. And it's just you and Oma because Oma's husband died and you don't have a husband Aunty."

It's good to get that missing husband thing cleared up.

"How do you find a husband Aunty? Have you been asking lots of boys to marry you and they say No?"

Maybe I should try that instead of what I have been doing...

"Did you tell Opa that I was coming before he died? Did that make him happy?"

I wish we had. It would have made him very happy.

"I'm glad we get to see Opa in heaven with Jesus and God and the Angels"

Me too.

"My mum and dad met each other because they went to school and used to walk home together"

Not sure where that story came from - they met at a camp when they were both in their 20's.

I am loving seeing my nieces and nephews grow in to little people. I love how Eden questions everything, and is finding out for herself how everything fits together in the world around her.

I can't wait for what comes next - sleepovers, cooking lessons, camping trips, boy talk etc etc etc. Being an aunty is the next best thing.

Grateful.

Do I need this book?

DAY 53

Mum brought this book back from the library last week as a joke (haha!) and it got me thinking back over my dating adventures this year.

Here is just a sample of some of my encounters for all of you who are living vicariously though me!…

Mr Doctor – I learned never to trust a head-shot photo only. This lovely guy ended up being a little 'heavier' than I was expecting.

Mr Melbourne – after many, many emails back and forth, spanning about 3 months, things just stopped. I learned that eventually thing have to move from emails to actual conversations.

Mr Townsville – my first date via skype. A little awkward.

Mr Nice Guy – the name says it all. 2 dates. Lots of emails/skype chats. A sudden and unexplained 3 week silence on his end. I let this one go.

Mr Romanian – someone I came across very early in the online dating escapade. Seemed intriguing to start with, then the unintelligible text messages started coming at 2am plus a strange email where he explained that God had told him all about me in a dream so he felt he knew me already. Understandably, I beat a hasty retreat and blocked his number from my phone.

Mr Never-Called – had a lovely, long lunch with this guy on the Gold Coast. All went great from my point of view. At the end of the date he asked to see me again and wanted to meet me for lunch in Toowoomba that week. I was keen. Turned out he changed his mind. He let me know with silence. I learned never to believe anything a guy says at the end of date.

Mr Stood-Me-Up - Probably not my wisest move. Met this guy at a friend’s cocktail party. He asked me to meet him for lunch that week. I put it in my phone. I turned up. He didn’t. I learned not to make dates with guys I meet at parties. They are not to be trusted.

Mr Star Wars – A 30+ year old who described himself as ‘a massive star wars fan’ in his introduction email to me. I chose not to respond. I hope this was a wise choice.

Dating lessons I have learned in 2010:

1. Never trust photos – especially when it is just a head-shot.
2. Don’t believe a thing a guy says at the end of a date. Just smile and walk away.
3. Don’t respond to any guy who says he is a ‘massive’ fan of anything.
4. Don’t make dates with guys from parties that involve alcohol. This can never end well.
5. Emails are a convenient form of communication but eventually you will have to meet each other. How can you know that a guy actually has legs until you see him walking towards you?
6. Anyone over the age of 30 is going to bring baggage. No guy makes it through his 20’s without accumulating a heavy set of matching suitcases filled with drama, ex-girlfriends/wives, hang-ups, preconceived notions etc etc etc.
7. The kindest way to let someone know you are not interested is to just go silent on communication. No one really wants to hear someone else tell them why they are not the right person. In the dating jungle you have to be cruel to be kind.

So - it has been a learning experience this year. Let's hope 2011 makes me a little more discerning and adventurous in the correct directions.

Fun times!