Excuse me, but I think my insecurities are showing...

DAY 66

Just got home from another first date. On the long drive home from Brisbane I had some pondering time. Never a good thing.

I realised that I have walked away from my last couple of first dates with a twinge of regret.

'For what' you ask.

'For the stupid things I uttered' I say.

It's true.

In recent dates I have said some truly dumb things.

I think I can trace this problem back to it's source.

I have been on so many first dates and have come away with disappointment - so now I no longer hold any expectations of the guy I am meeting.

If he turns up things are off to a great start.

With my new 'no expectations' outlook I have lost the nervousness that comes with a first date. Why get nervous about something that will probably end badly, embarrassingly or awkwardly?

Since I no longer feel nervous, my traditional conversation/response filtering has been lost.

I've stopped checking my answers in my head before I open my mouth.

This here is where the cracks start to show in my carefully crafted exterior.

Flicking back through our conversations today I can only cringe at some of the answers that crossed my lips.

Can I claim temporary insanity?

Maybe I was distracted by a shiny object?

Why, oh why, oh why!

Someone take away my dating license before I hurt myself or others irreparably.

Maybe I need a bring a chaperone with me.

Someone who can vet my responses before I answer.

That wouldn't be weird - would it?

:)

First date outfit dilemmas

DAY 65

I've got another first date tomorrow - the second for the year.

The classic conundrum has hit me again - what the heck do I wear?

Dates in winter were never a problem - I had a standard outfit with skinny jeans, high-healed boots and bomber jacket.

Summer on the other hand has me completely baffled.

Can't wear jeans or a long skirt - too hot.

That red dress with flowers is a little too 'girl next door'.

What impression does a short skirt give?

No way am I wearing shorts.

Do you see my dilemma.

I see this situation as gross negligence on my behalf.

I must rectify asap with shopping.

Immediately.

Photo Friday

DAY 64

A Friday ritual - celebrating a special moment from the past that I don't want to ever forget.

Dancing with the green-eyed monster

DAY 63

Jealousy

Not something we talk about a lot.

Not something anyone generally admits to.

But I will.

I’ve been dancing with the green-eyed monster lately.

Not the ‘I wish I had what you have’ monster.

More like his cousin - the ‘I can’t be in the same room as your happiness’ monster.

The monster that munches your heart up.

Slowly.

The monster that whispers in my ear.

Steals my joy.

Actually I think he eats my joy for breakfast.

So

How do I return this monster to where he came?

That is a good question.

Maybe I will remind myself of all the things I was grateful for 64 days ago.

I think I will find it hard to be jealous and grateful at the same time.

I don’t want to dance with this monster any more.

He steps on my toes.

With his big green feet.

xxoo

L

What I've been reading...

DAY 62

I thought it was time to tell you what I have been reading over the last month or two. I had a very productive Christmas holiday - I read 4 books in a week!

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close | Jonathan Safran Foer

“In a vase in a closet, a couple years after his father died in 9/11, nine-year-old Oskar discovers a key…”

This was one of my favourite books from 2010. A great story about the different characters living in New York City, from the perspective of a quirky and extremely intelligent little boy.

5/5

Water for Elephants | Sara Gruen

“Orphaned, penniless, Jacob Jankowski jumps a freight train in the dark, and in that instant, transforms his future. By morning, he’s landed a job with the Flying Squadron of the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. Bt nightfall, he’s in love.

I hear they are making this in to a movie which should be great. Love this story as it is rich with love, laughter, danger, a naughty elephant, prohibition, the depression and a love that defies logic.

5/5

Room | Emma Donoghue

“Room is the story of a mother and son whose love lets them survive the impossible. Unsentimental and sometimes funny, devastating yet uplifting, Room is a novel like no other.”

One of the best books I have read in a very long time. I read it in a 4 hour sitting one Saturday afternoon, because I just couldn’t put it down. An incredible story of a kidnapped teenager, her child and their life in ‘Room’.

5/5

Wicked Appetite | Janet Evanovich

Unfortunately not up to the normal level that I expect from Janet Evanovich (who is the author of one of my favourite book series). It has it’s funny moments (a monkey who gives everyone the finger, enchanted stones that cause the holder to horde: food, padlocks, ferrets etc, a gorgeous man with smouldering good looks who is the protector of these stones) but on a story level it leaves much to be desired.

3/5 - I wouldn't bother if I were you. Read the 'One for the Money' series instead.

Her Mother’s Hope & Her Daughter’s Dream| Francine Rivers

Marta’s Legacy series

These two were a great read looking at the legacy of one feisty, strong willed young girl from Switzerland through her life, her daughter, her granddaughter and her great granddaughter. Travelling through Europe, Canada and the wilds of settlement in America, these books illustrate the lives of women who loved their husbands, their children and their faith. Exploring the complicated relationships between mothers and daughter, husbands and wives, neighbours and friends.

4.5/5 – they got a little predictable towards the end.

My book is here!

DAY 61

My book arrived yesterday and I was amazed to see it!

My '100 Days of Grateful' was an incredible journey, and to see it in book form makes it all the more real.

This book is an exclusive masterpiece - one copy only so I'd better not misplace it anywhere.

I am very proud.

Hello Summer!

DAY 60

After months of rain it makes my heart happy to see the summer weather back in sunny Queensland!

I turned my fan on tonight for the first time since February last year. Let's hope the last 6 weeks of summer actually feel a little more like summer!