A situation of desperation

Something very exciting and very challenging has recently happened to me. I submitted an application form to Watoto Childrens Home to spend a month helping the babies home in Uganda.

I'm not sure if anyone else feels like this - but putting an application in is a million miles away from actually going anywhere - but surprisingly I was accepted straight away to go over from mid Dec to mid Jan. I got the email and immediately my eyes teared up - it was actually happening and the enormity of the whole situation hit me all at once. I am going on my own, to Africa, in 16 weeks time, and I needed to find around $3500 for the opportunity.

Now with this comes the challenge of finding the funds to get there. In the back of my head I was thinking - "well if God wants me to go he will provide the funds" and my realistic brain says "so where are you going to get that money from Linda - why would God bother to get it for you?". I freaked out and worried for a couple of days and then came up with a solution - namely one that sees me sacrificing my independence (by getting my own place) for a couple more months so I can save the money I would have spent on rent for 3 months and putting that towards the Watoto costs.

It got me thinking - in an affluent society where weekly pay often covers all costs and sometimes a bit to spare - is the need to rely on God to provide diminished? It has always been my way to go out and get what I want or need - rather than praying and letting God provide for me.

I wonder if God provided me with a good job and the ability to budget so that I can fund myself in situations like this - or if by doing it on my own, I rob God of the opportunity for miraculous provision.

It is ironic that the week I have been thinking and talking to others about this thought, I get a call from a friend today telling me that she has won a much needed brand new car in a competition that she didn't actually purposefully enter. God has miraculously provided a car for her through a competition that she was automatically entered in when registering for something else - what a smart God we have!

It made me smile to see that God does actually step in when needed.

Maybe it is more a situation of desperation - when we have no other options do we ask God to step in then - rather than at the beginning and leaving the worrying with him?

I guess I won't know - but in my case it looks like within a week of getting accepted I have found the bulk of the money needed, and a family member is looking in to the possibility of using their frequent flyer points for one way of the flights as well - which will cover the rest of the costs.

Is this God's way of providing or my way of doing it myself and not giving him the chance?