These long drives I have been making lately give me lots of time to think – which is a welcome change from the stimulus filled hours I live in from day to day.
It seems that the things I am told about how to date within the parameters of my faith stress heavily on the role that fathers play in protecting and guiding their daughters to their best match.
This was certainly true in my high school years – when my dad was forever glaring at, scaring away or summarily ignoring the many guys who came by to pick me up for whatever approved outing was on that night. The only serious contenders were the ones who survived the initial father meeting and were able to make it past the door a second time. Though back then, I still saw the ones who didn’t make it back – I just met them elsewhere.
Danger. Danger Will Robinson. Danger.
When my sister was dating her now-husband I remember Dad being initially stern but eventually warming further in as it became evident that Danny was becoming the man Alison needed in her life, even before she knew it herself.
Dad’s seem to know these things.
So, what has me thinking is – how am I supposed to travel these unknown dating waters without my Dad there to be the guide?
I think I have set up a secondary plan.
My first line of defense against danger is my mum, my sister and my best friend. These 3 strong women know all my weaknesses and can see a disaster looming well before we have finished the ‘get-to-know-you’ coffee. They are the people who know where I am meeting a guy and when, so that if I don’t make it home they can send the police to my last known whereabouts. They are the voices of reason when I am blinded by the handsome exterior of an intelligent man. They remind me that if something looks too good to be true, it usually is.
My second line of defense is my home group. These 3 married couples hear the stories weekly. The girls offer advice, while the guys offer to beat anyone up who treats me wrong. They offer opinions on all aspects of any potential suitor – from looks to jobs to hobbies – nothing escapes them.
The last line of defense is the strong men. The heavy-weights. The hard-hitters. Nothing is getting past these three. My big brother Brian, my co-worker Dave and my uncle Rodney. Between the three they have probably come across every trick in the book. When these guys say something - I listen. I value their opinions. I take note when they disapprove.
Plus - there are countless friends and family members also on the lookout. It's a team effort.
For a fatherless daughter, I pray I am making the right decisions without my dad’s guiding hand and stern stare.
I hope that every single girl in my position has also assembled her team.
It’s a jungle out there.
Without backup, those guys will eat you alive.
** Sorry Dave - couldn't find a photo of you in my files :)
